Monsoon 2008

It wasn’t the heat that was bothering me. Sure, it was a hot, humid, miserable summer day here, but it was the bugs. Hundreds of mosquito's had discovered just how tasty I was and had told all their friends. My hand rose without thinking every few minutes to slap widely at every inch of exposed skin.

How could I have forgotten bug spray? Another slap. These things were insatiable.

“Comet!” I yelled to my dog. Every so often, I had to scream for him to come back. He never went too far, but last thing I needed was a bob cat or skunk to get a hold of him. Bushes rumbled and shook on my right. My floppy eared house dog bounded through the brush onto the dirt road.

“Hey bubs, you need some water?” I asked, squeezing my camelbak, dripping water into the dirt. He ignored me, his nose to the ground and his bobbed tail making his whole butt wiggle side to side. He was so happy to be out of that house.

The mountain road was wide and frequented by many people. Some hiking, some riding ATV’s or horses, and some brave souls in their lifted trucks. Trees lined the rough road; Ponderosa’s, Douglas Firs, Cedar, all swaying in the breeze. The bandana tied around my neck dripped with sweat. The gas station sunglasses slid down my nose from the moisture, and the bugs bit me in itchy waves.

You couldn’t beat the views at the top. A picturesque lake surrounded by giant pine trees and blue skies. Stocked full of fresh trout and camping sites.

I had only made the hike two other times. Both with a boyfriend who wasn’t worth mentioning anymore. My panting was almost as loud as the dogs. I started to sing, a quiet whisper sort of tune that drifted with the breeze. That’s why I didn’t hear the soft rustling in the undergrowth.

A giant brown creature jumped out at me, already at my legs before I could react. Comet was on its heels and they both tumbled in front of me. Another dog was playfully wrestling with mine.

“You wanna come with us? You a good boy?” I asked the dog. He didn’t answer but took off after Comet. His owner was ahead of or behind me. Hikers let their dogs loose on this trail all the time. At some point he would disappear, back to his family.

Giant swirls of dust came off the ground where they kicked it up, sticking to my wet skin. My soft singing started again with my walking. A little Johnny Cash to break up the monotony of the chirping birds.

The dogs stayed on the road, nipping playfully at each other and sprinting around. Sometimes getting a little too serious, but never crossing the line. It was fun watching them.

Comet was the first to go rigid. Thirty feet in front of me in the middle of the road. His bark pulled me from my daydream. I sped up. He was thirty feet in front of me, standing like a statue. The bend in the road made it impossible to see what was working him up.

“Comet,” I whistle at him. He didn’t move. He barked that wild sounding half growl. He only made that noise for one thing; a man.

“Hey! Knock it off, get over here!” I yelled, almost relieved that it wasn’t an animal. There were bears and bobcats here and they wouldn’t tolerate me or my dog. The chow was gone. Jogging was hard with my huge pack but last thing I needed was my dog biting a stranger. I rounded the curve just in time. The man was fifty feet away, holding a gun in his right hand.

“Woah, woah! That’s my dog! Hey!” I screamed.

“Tell em to back off!” he yelled, putting his pistol back on his belt. I stopped walking and searched in my pack for the fail-safe; beef jerky. As soon as the package crinkled his ears perked up.

He sprinted at me. Kneeling into the dirt, I leashed him as he munched on the meat.

“No problem,” I said, already walking away. The old man followed me, matching my pace. He was smaller than me. At almost six feet tall, it was normal.

“That’s my dog, Reggie,” he said, when the chow reappeared at my side.

“I figured he was yours.”

“Y’all up here alone?”

“Er, no. My uncle is waiting for me at the top.” Lies. No one even knew I had gone camping. So many people lived in that damn house. I doubt they even realized I was gone. He was still following me with more than just his feet.

“Just came from up there, ain’t no one at the lake.”

Shit.

“Maybe he’s taking a nap or something,” I said. My hands were shaking, so I grabbed onto the straps on my shoulders.

“Ain’t nobody up there, girl. Just me and my dogs, shootin’ at skunks last night.”

“He’s there.” I said, quickening my pace. I was only ahead of him by a few steps.

“You know, there’s rain comin. ‘Sposed to be a big un too. I got my truck here, I can take you down the moun’in, if you want.”

“No, thanks. I have a tarp.”

“Tarp don’ stop lighn’in.”

“I’ll be ok, thanks.”

“Name’s Mike, what’s yers?”

“Maddy,” I said using my cousin's name.

“Whatcha packin’ there Maddy?” he asked, pointing to the small gun strapped to my backpack. The way he said the name made my skin crawl, it was long and drawn out, like the name itself was dipped in honey.

“It’s a twenty-two,” I said. That was another lie; it was a salt pellet rifle.

“Whassit for?” He asked. I got a good look at him. He was almost as tall as me, but older than dirt. His gray hair was chopped into a mullet, and he had almost no teeth.

“Bob cats.”

“Shit, that’d do nothin’ but piss em off.” He shuffled up closer to me.

“Y’all don’ wanna be here when that storm comes,” he warned again.

“Thanks, but I really have to get a move on," I said. Maybe he was just a kind old man, trying to help me out. The way his eyes followed my every move, lingering longer than they should on my chest, told me this was not the case.

“Y’all change yer minds, just come back down.”

“Er thanks Mike, but my uncle is waiting. I should go,” I said, picking up my pace even more. Any faster and I would be jogging.

He stopped.

“Don’t go shootin’ no bobcats,” he said. I didn’t answer. My shaking didn’t stop for another half hour. There was a coldness in my veins. Maybe it was the encounter with the creepy old man, or maybe it was the wind. Every step closer to the top of the mountain, the temperature dropped, and the wind picked up.

Mike had tried to warn me, but I was too stubborn, or maybe he was too creepy. All I could hope for was that the storm would not hit before I could make camp at the top.

The change in the air grew. The breeze became a strong wind, and the wind became a gale, pushing me, begging me to turn around. Swaying trees and cracking branches surrounded me. The most telling sign was my dog. I had let him off his leash again but

he wasn't running around. Instead, he stayed next to me whining in an anxious way that told me he felt it too.

“It’s ok bud, we have our tarp,” I told him, but I was just as nervous. The wind had dropped the temperature by ten degrees. Swirling dark clouds moved overhead, covering the sun. A low rumble threatened us from far away.

The pressure in the air plummeted. I could feel it, like the storm was charging. Pulling every bit of energy from the atmosphere to dump back at me all at once. The electricity was making the tiny blond hairs on my arm stand up. The dramatic change was sending me into a panic. I could feel what was coming.

Every noise stopped. No birds, no wind, no crackle of a twig. The silence was unnerving.

The first drop landed heavy on my head. The size of a half dollar. Once the rain started, it held nothing back.

Torrents of water fell from the sky. Drops just as large as the first pounded the top half of my body. The wind battering me like gut punches, pushing me every direction. Monsoons hit so fast and hard. Once they started, they unleashed a hell, drenching anyone that dared to be outside. Debris filled with small rocks, and sand, and leaves were flying everywhere. It was blinding me. I dropped my pack, ripping the tarp out. It was only six feet by six feet, but it would keep us dry while the storm passed.

The wind laughed at my attempt to wrangle the plastic. Unfolding it was impossible. Already the water was dripping from my face and arms. It had soaked me in seconds. The tarp ripped from my wet fingers, strangled away from me by the wind. Comet was barking as it smacked into the trees. I ran over, untangling it from the branches. Pokes and rips already lined the tarp. I looked around for a safe place to hunker down, wrapping myself with the blue thin sheet. A group of small trees grabbed my attention just as the first flash of lightning streaked across the sky. The following thunder almost knocked me to my feet. I clambered over to the trees, desperate for something to make me feel safe. My pack staying in the road open to the sky. Every tree was bent against the wind; leaves were vacationing in the gusts. Tiny rocks careened through the air, peppering me with tiny stings. As a second lightning bolt tore through the sky, a giant branch flew into the road, convincing me that no place was safe. The thunder boomed just seconds behind flash.

“Comet!” I yelled out, trying to find him in the madness. Something hit me from behind. A shaking, muddy mess that was just as terrified as me.

“Come here, buddy.” I pulled the tarp up and he climbed into my lap, soaking my shorts. The thick layers of mud transferring from him to me. He was shivering more than I was.

We stayed huddled together under the tarp, miserable. The wind died down after a while, but the rain didn’t stop. Smaller, less frequent drops convinced me to get up. Comet looked almost brown from the mud. Only his back was free of the grime. He shook his whole body as we started to walk, peppering me and the tarp with the mess. I was so glad that the rain had slowed. I didn’t care about the mud.

We started back up the mountain, grabbing my pack from where I had left it. The rain had drenched everything inside. It ruined my book. The lighter wouldn’t spark, and I could wring out my extra clothes. It was pure luck the sleeping bag was in a waterproof bag.

“So much for dry socks tonight,” I said. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal in a normal setting, but out here it could kill me. Hypothermia was a threat in the back of my mind. I shook the thought away, that was hours away. The backpack swung around to my back. Then threw the tarp over my head and back. It was still raining steadily. With the day considered ruined. I looked towards the top of the mountain. It was so close, that for a moment I thought about continuing up. Who cared if I was a little wet? Tomorrow it would be just as hot and I would wish for this storm.

“What do you think?” I asked my dog. He sprinted away from me, back towards the Mike and the bottom of the mountain.

The car was probably eight miles away at this point and it was already two pm.

“Fine, let’s go home. Quitter.” I said. Tucking my tarp under my chin, I started hiking.

Each step squished in my boots. The rain soaked my feet.

“Why the hell didn’t I spring for the waterproof boots? They were only ten bucks more!” I yelled out after a hundred paces. Comet looked back at me like I was stupid.

“You can’t even wear boots, get out of here.” I laughed at him.

In my head, I was hoping Mike was still there. I was so cold, and the rain still hadn’t stopped. As time wore on, and I passed the spot I had met him at, it was clear my luck had run out. My good mood left with it. Lightning flashed more often, not as close as before. I had to get to my car. This looked to go through the night, and hypothermia still wore heavily on my mind.

“Push yourself,” I kept whispering. The steps were more hurting now and the cloudy sky was fading even darker. Night was closing in and I was nowhere near my car. The dog kept coming to me until I was sick of his whimpers.

“I’m cold too! Nothing we can do!” He stayed by my side, his soft whines feeding the ugly guilty feeling in my chest. We hiked on silent with the rain still dropping fresh pieces of anguish on us. The new holes in the tarp let water drip down my head. My shivering hadn’t stopped for hours. We both stopped, and I rummaged through my pack. First throwing jerky to the dog, taking a big bite for myself. I found what I was looking for; my phone. The signal was always weak up here, but maybe if I walked and watched, I could get enough for a call. There was no way I could stay here in this rain all night. I flipped open the silver phone and looked at the screen.

It was dead. Whether from the water that had flooded my bag or from lack of charging I didn’t know. I plopped down right there in the middle of the muddy road. Defeated.

The darkness crept further up the sky, aided by the black clouds. They were still dropping their misery no me with no relief, making my slight shivers turn into heavy shaking. It was full-blown night time now. I was still two or three hours from my car. A breeze blew the tarp back off my head. I didn’t put it back. Instead, I closed my eyes, letting the rain drip from my nose and hugged onto my knees. The rain picked up as lightning flashed in the distance again.

The weather was mocking me.

I sat there, crying, sniffling, and feeling sorry for myself. When the tears stopped, I stared into the distance. The white hair on my dogs back shone in the darkness. He was looking back at me. Waiting.

“There’s nowhere to go Comet!” I said to him. He stayed where he was.

“What?!” I yelled. He still didn’t move but his bark made me jump.

“WHAT?!” I yelled again. He yapped at me; a playful sound. He dropped his head to the ground and stuck his tail end into the air. Like he was a puppy, and he wanted me to chase him.

Standing up took all my remaining energy. Once I got moving, my shivers slowed down. The steps hurt worse. I rubbed my bare arms dreaming of the sun and bugs I had cursed just a few hours ago.

Another tune came to mind, The Best of Times, an ironic tune that made me chuckle. The rain had drenched my bandana just like everything else. The braid in my hair was dripping over it. I took it off my neck and wrung it out. Folding it into a thin strap, I tied it around my forehead, then put the headlamp over it.

If the weather wanted a battle, I would give put up a fight.

I flicked the switch for my headlamp, lighting my path with 5000 lumens. The thing could light an entire room. The rain sparkled in the light. It gave me a new resolve. Singing was my only refuge. Each new song catching in rhythm with my steps.

Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. Until I didn’t have to beg my body to move forward anymore. It was a trance, almost hypnotic; don’t think. Just sing and move.

I heard the roar of the creek. My final obstacle. The only thing standing between me and my car. It was too loud. Even before my light shone onto the water, I knew it was over.

A flash of lightning lit the scene. What had been a trickle over rocks, was now dozens of feet high. Flowing clear over the road and up the sides of the creek, spilling into the forest. No way could I get over that.

I could see my car. It was a hundred feet away from me, unreachable over the water.

“Are you kidding me?!” I screamed. The road was full of rocks, large and small. I bent down and grabbed two.

“ARE,” throw, “YOU,” throw, “kidding me?!” The thunder drowned out the sound of any splashes. A long threatening sound that started slow, building into a boom that rocked everything. The tarp had fallen during my tantrum. I flung my backpack onto the road and kicked it for good measure.

“What now?!”

Another flash of lightning, they were getting closer together again. Standing in the open road was a bad idea. Dying by lightning strike wouldn’t make things any better.

“Comet,” I whistled, “let’s go!” he was at the water's edge drinking the enemy up in thirsty laps. I yanked my pack off the ground but didn’t put it on. Some small trees off to the side grabbed my attention. I tied my tarp up and sat underneath it. If I had dry clothes, this wouldn’t be a bad place to stay the night. If I got naked and slid into my sleeping bag, I could be warm. Thank god it was dry. The waterproof bag for it was the best four dollars I ever spent.

The tiny collapsible shovel scrapped the wet mud from the small spot under the short trees. Mostly clearing away pine needles and rocks. I smoothed the dirt with my hands as two more lightning flashes covered the sky. More thunder shook the forest.

Fire first, then into the warmth and stiff comfort of the sleeping bag. I would light the coal and put some tinder around it trying to dry it out enough for a fire. Some sticks at the base of these trees weren’t too wet. Even if I could get the coal going, that could give me a little warmth. Something to defrost my fingers. I dug a tiny hole and dropped the coal inside. Whispering small prayers. My thumb could hardly strike the lighter; it was so numb. The lighter sparked but produced no flame.

“Jesus, come on.” I whispered blowing into the metal tip, shaking the lighter. Ten, fifteen more times I tried, but no flame came.

“GOD!” I yelled. Throwing the lighter out into the woods. The dog whimpered trying to worm his way onto my lap, shaking.

“NO! You are wet and muddy.” I shoved him away. Then put my head into my hands. My shaking was out of control. Everything was numb and the pain of moving was too much. He put his head in my lap, soaking my already drenched shorts.

The rain picked up again, wind blowing a spray of fresh misery onto my face. I adjusted the bandanna around my head.

This wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t any worse than getting stuck in that snow storm in Pinecrest; the bear that ate all our food, the lake frozen so we couldn’t get any fish, our car covered in three feet of snow with a dead battery, no winter clothes.

No, this wasn’t that bad.

I grabbed the last of the jerky from my pack. Comet got a small piece. He swallowed it fast, without chewing or tasting. I smiled and patted his head while I savored the strong flavor.

It had to be late, the sun would be up in a few hours. It was summer after all. May as well get in the sleeping bag and be warm, even if it didn’t result in sleep. I grabbed it out of the bag. It was in a tight roll compressed to the size of a throw pillow. I checked my dry patch of dirt again and unrolled the bag. As it flopped open, a tiny piece of fabric fell out. A dryer sheet! It was so dry and so flammable. The lighter was somewhere off to my right, tossed away like the garbage I had thought it was. But even those feeble sparks would light the dryer sheet.

The search was long, soaking me even more.

Why did I pick a green lighter?! Better yet, why did I throw it?!

In a flash of lightning, I saw the metal tip blink at me.

I kissed the stupid thing when I picked it up and went back under my tarp where the dog was already snoring happily. I shoved him off and got to work. It didn’t take much. I ran my thumb slowly over the lighter. Upside down onto the dryer sheet, letting pieces of the flint fall onto the fabric. It worked. The sheet flared up after a mix of sparks and breath.

I set the flaming sheet onto the coal and closed my eyes. I lined the hole with wet pine needles, I just needed enough heat to get them going. I knew it had worked when the warmth hit my face.

The coal was lit. Yellow flames licked my fingers. The tiny fire gave me so much relief, warmth spreading over the fingers, drying out the soggy skin. The crackling was like music to my ears. I held my frozen wet hands out and turned them slowly. The smell of campfire comforted me even more. I stripped off my shoes first. My feet were white, soaked and wrinkled beyond recognition. I held them over the fire. Sitting, with my hands behind my back with my feet held over the flames like the world’s most disgusting rotisserie chicken. The smile on my face couldn’t have been any bigger. I sat like that, alternating between my hands, my feet and even my bum, melting every frozen surface.

The fire didn’t last long. I ran out of the small branches and twigs. The coal could only do so much. I took off my wet clothes hanging them on a low branch in the trees under my tarp. Almost happy, I fell asleep.

The rain never stopped that night. Several times I woke to find it coming down harder and faster. Thunder waking me from my stiff sleep. The cold growing through the night, until even the bag couldn’t keep me warm. My dog spent the night near my head, shivering just as much as me. Pure misery.

We spent the next morning hiking upriver to find a place to cross. The minute we got in the car, I blasted the heater. The radio told me it was one of the worst storms in years, even creating a small tornado north of where I was. I drove home, reliving the ordeal and realizing how close I had been to not making it out of there. Exhaustion hit me when I pulled into my driveway. After the hottest shower of my life, I lay in my bed, Comet already snoring on a towel on the floor. The cozy bed hugged my entire body. I snuggled my pillow like it was made of chocolate. One thing was for sure, I was never leaving home without a dryer sheet again.